


I want

by thesongofdarkness



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Episode: s02e15 No Heroics, Episode: s02e16 Old Habits, F/F, One Shot, POV First Person, POV Laura Hollis, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 02:15:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4546332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesongofdarkness/pseuds/thesongofdarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written as Laura's thoughts when she is conflicted about her love and hate for Carmilla.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I want

I want to kiss her. I want to prove to you that I am worthy of love.  
I want to prove to you that I am okay without you, that I am not falling apart.  
I want to prove to you, that my heart aren't bleeding, that my eyes aren't hurting with unshared tears.  
I want to make you angry. I want you to feel the same hurt that I do.  
I want to make you cry, so I won't be the only one crying.  
I want to make you jealous, jealous enough to take me back, to realize that you can't live without me.  
I want to hurt you, to make you doubt yourself as I doubt myself.  
But at the same time I don't. What I want even more is to kiss you.  
I want to reclaim those lips.  
I want to slam you up to a wall and kiss you; I want you to lose control over yourself.  
I want to control you, with my hands and with my mouth. And more than anything I want you to let me. I want you to let me take control, I want you to give yourself up completely to me, I want you to be at my mercy.   
I want to kiss you like we used to.  
I want to kiss you like nothing ever changed  
I want to hold you close, so I can feel your heartbeat and know that you are alive.  
I want to feel your lips on my body.  
I want to cuddle up with you late at night.  
I want to sleep with you tucked tight into my side.  
I want you to be someplace I can see, I want you to always be at my side.  
I want to stop pretending. Pretending that I hate you, pretending that every minute away from you don’t feel like torture.  
I want to hate you, for everything you have and haven't done, but I can't.  
I want to tell you the truth.  
I want to strangle you. I want to hug you.  
I want to avoid you. I want to never see you again.  
I want to talk to you. I want to demand an explanation even thought I already know the reason why.  
I hate you so much it feels like I can't breath but at the same time it feels like I can only breath when I am with you.


End file.
